The Journey Of Losing A Soulmate To Cancer with Carla Malden

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When you lose someone, well-meaning people give you books full of supposedly uplifting platitudes: “Time heals all wounds.” “There is a purpose to this.” “You will find closure.” But, as non-religious baby-boomer Carla Malden says, she found them useless. She shares the highs and lows, sparing nothing in her truth-telling. You will be inspired by her candor and clarity as she speaks about her experience of living through the debilitating disease and death of her husband and work partner. She likens this time in her life to being strapped in a roller coaster that you never bought a ticket for. “You can do nothing but hold on. There are weeks where you are plummeting and weeks where you feel hopeful and things are on the rise.” This conversation explores the zigzagging emotions of living with a loved one who is battling a life threatening illness, as well as moving into widowhood. (hosted by Justine Willis Toms)

Bio

Carla Malden has been a screenwriter and published author. She began her career as the assistant to renowned director Elia Kazan. With her husband and screen writing partner, Laurence Starkman, she co-wrote many screenplays and produced and wrote several award winning short films.

She is author of:

• When Do I Start?: A Memoir (coauthor, her father, Academy Award winning actor Karl Malden)(Limelight Editions 2004)
• AfterImage: A Brokenhearted Memoir of a Charmed Life (skirt! 2011)

To learn more about the work of Carla Malden go to www.carlamalden.com.

Topics Explored in This Dialogue

• How we must learn the new language of medicine
• How does one cope with a reoccurrence of an illness
• How do we go about breaking the “habit” of our life-long partner after they have died
• What does time teach us about grief
• How writing helps with the grief
• What it was like to bring her husband home to die
• What is the paradox of wanting things to be normal when they are so out of kilter
• How to cope with guilt of things said or not said
• How to understand the need to go shopping when life is out of our control
• How is therapy useful for the entire family when a loved one is dying
• How does one cope with survivor’s guilt
• How can we best help someone who is going through deep grief

Host: Justine Willis Toms   Interview Date: 9/6/2012   Program Number: 3449

Music Playlist

From Album: Prayer For Compassion
Artist: David Darling
2009 Wind Over the Earth #WE2340

Opening Essay: Track 02 Prayer for Compassion
Music Break 1: Track 04 As Long As Grasses Grow and Rivers Run
Music Break 2: Track 04 As Long As Grasses Grow and Rivers Run
Music Break 3: Track 11 Heaven Here on Earth