Loving Without Limits with Guy Finley

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Our most loving relationships often start at the top of the mountain; they begin with the magic of romance. However, when the veneer of those early beginnings starts to wear thin, tensions inevitably surface. When we find ourselves reacting to our partner with potent, negative feelings, we have two choices. One is to fight and then make up – again, and again, and again – until all we have left to share are the cold remains of some unresolved pain. Or, we learn how to turn this kind of unpleasant encounter into a whole new kind of understanding, one that both illuminates and disarms the differences between the two of us before it can escalate into a painful disagreement that no one wins. This deep dialogue explores how we can work through conflict in a truly constructive way beyond anger, blame, and coercion. Finley uses the analogy of volunteering to pick up the check at a restaurant saying, “This one is on me.” He reveals, “I’m simply saying I have seen enough about myself to know that if I resist your negativity with my own, we’re going to sit here and each of us will find the other responsible for this miserable moment.” He goes on to give an alternative to that scenario: “You are not responsible for the misery I’m feeling. If I’m miserable it’s because I’m identified with and protecting something in myself that I didn’t know was there until you helped me see it.” (hosted by Justine Willis Toms) 


Guy Finley, founder and Director of the Life of Learning Foundation, is the author of more than 45 books and audio programs on self-realization. He also hosts online courses through Life of Learning’s Wisdom School. 

He's the author of many books including:

To learn more about the work of Guy Finley go to www.guyfinley.org


Topics Explored in This Dialogue

  • What was Finley’s spiritual journey that moved him to become a wisdom teacher
  • What is Aesop’s fable of the Lion, Bull, and Vulture and how does it apply to relationship
  • How McKeever the dog helped Finley wake up
  • How relationship can help us understand the emotional baggage we are carrying within ourselves
  • What does it mean to say, “I’ve got this.”
  • Why our partner is not responsible for the misery we are feeling
  • What we can do if our partner refuses to change
  • How can the analogy of two people in a canoe headed for a waterfall be helpful
  • How we can put down our weapons and say, “I will not fight with you.”
  • What are the ABCs of relationship: Don’t argue, don’t blame, don’t coerce
  • How we are all “in training” to learn how to manifest loving relationships
  • How to use our “spiritual alarm clock” as a moment of revelation
  • Why we should not allow people to abuse us 

Host: Justine Willis Toms   Interview Date: 8/19/2018   Program Number: 3651

Music Playlist

From Album: Zen Pause
Artist: Thierry David 
2007 B000RB9QA2 Real Music 

Opening Essay: Track 01 So Sensual
Music Break 1: Track 08 Women Secrets
Music Break 2: Track 05 Body Pause
Music Break 3: Track 05 Body Pause