Breaking Free of Toxic Perfectionism with Tara Cousineau, Ph.D.

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Cousineau, a clinical psychologist at Harvard University, discusses the roots and consequences of perfectionism, emphasizing its connection to a need for belonging and acceptance. She explains how perfectionism leads to burnout, stress, and anxiety. She introduces the concept of "inner algorithms" as coping patterns formed in stressful situations. Cousineau advocates for a mind-body approach to overcoming perfectionism, highlighting the importance of self-compassion and the EVOLVE method: ●Embody the present moment ●Validate your experience ●Open your heart ●Love your inner critic ●Make a vow ●Connect with the energy of excellence. She also discusses the benefits of EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) or “Tapping” for reducing stress. (hosted by Justine Willis Toms)

Bio

Tara Cousineau, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist at Harvard University’s Counseling and Mental Health Services. She’s professionally trained in mind-body medicine, energy psychology, mindfulness, self-compassion, and other psychological methods.

Tara Cousineau is the author of:

• The Kindness Cure: How The Science Of Compassion Can Heal Your Heart And Your World (New Harbinger Publications 2018)
• The Perfectionist’s Dilemma: Learn the Art of Self Compassion and Become a Happy Achiever (Alcove Press 2025)

To learn more about the work of Tara Cousineau, go to www.taracousineau.com and taracousphd.substack.com

Topics explored in the dialogue include:

• What is the concept of “inner algorithms and how do they relate to perfectionism
• How does talk therapy compare with body-centered therapy
• What is the EVOLVE method to overcome the toxic effects of perfectionism
• What is the EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) or “tapping” as a tool to calm the nervous system
• Why we must notice our behavior, name it, and nurture it
• How is self-compassion different from self-esteem
• Why naming our negative inner voices is effective
• How kindfulness and kindsight are useful in addition to mindfulness
• What is the science of the human tendency to attune with others known as coregulation
• What are the three inner parts according to the language of IFS (Internal Family Systems)
• Why Cousineau advocates working with the body rather than the head for relief from the toxic effects of perfectionism
• What is the difference between excellence and perfection
• How neuroscientists know our day-to-day experiences as “controlled hallucinations”
• How we must befriend our inner critic

Host: Justine Willis Toms    Interview Date: 7/18/2025   Program Number: 3846

Music Playlist

Album: Rhythms of Awakening
Artist: Glen Velez

Essay Music: Track 11 Forrest Callings
Midbreak music: Track 11 Forrest Callings