At The Heart Of Loneliness with Kira Asatryan

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Despite being connected 24/7 with others, post-modern life is replete with loneliness. Kira Asatryan says the antidote to loneliness is a matter of feeling connected, valued, and cared about. Closeness means having direct access to another person’s inner world and knowing what constitutes their habits, beliefs, preferences, needs, and values . . . When somebody both understands that inner world and expresses interest and investment in it then it creates a feeling of closeness.” She cautions us that “the social-media-plus-mobile-phone combination is a little bit of a perfect storm because it feels like you’re carrying these people around with you all the time in your pocket and you could theoretically contact them about anything at any time. But from what I have heard from people is that they don’t really do that.” She goes on to give us examples of how we can cultivate closeness by asking open-ended and inviting questions, the kind that invite people to go deeper in revealing more about themselves. This conversation contains many practical suggestions on how to build fulfilling and deep connections to others in all areas of our lives. (hosted by Justine Willis Toms)


Kira Asatryan is a certified relationship coach who provides individual life coaching, relationship coaching, conflict mediation, and couples coaching. Before becoming a relationship coach, she was director of performance marketing for prominent Silicon Valley technology start-ups and cofounded an online marketing consultancy. She lives in San Francisco.

Kira Asatryan is the author of:

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Topics Explored in This Dialogue

  • What do we need to do to remedy the epidemic of loneliness
  • Why millennials feel more lonely than older generations
  • What constitutes loneliness
  • How we can be lonely even within marriages and families
  • What is the difference between caring and caretaking
  • How noticing and feeling empathy for another is not about fixing their problems
  • How close and caring relationships are good for your health
  • What are the social factors that hinder closeness in post-modern times
  • How is technology changing the way we think
  • How we can get close to people at work
  • Why open-ended questions are important
  • How to make a proper apology
  • How do we keep closeness as a couple
  • Why we must also focus on getting close to ourselves
  • How to identify what we want and what we value

Host: Justine Willis Toms      Interview Date: 4/3/2016      Program Number: 3577

Music Playlist

From Album: Planet Passion
Artist: Ancient Future
2001 Ancient Future #AF - 2010

Opening Essay: Track 01 Simsimay Panima
Music Break 1: Track 04 I met Her In the Medowe.b
Music Break 2: Track 05 Ocean of Love
Music Break 3: Track 01 Simsimay Panima (reprise)