Why Yelling Doesn’t Work And How I Can Stop It with Rona Renner, R.N.

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In these stressful times yelling at our kids or even our partners might be our default position. Rona Renner describes some of the reasons we yell: it could be stress around money, or not enough sleep, or our children are fighting with one another. It could be that we were raised by yellers so it becomes a default setting for us. It could be we just don’t know what else to do. Renner points out that it’s important to accommodate temperaments that are different from our own. Even babies are born with certain temperament traits. She suggests we use a “yelling tracker form” to help us know when and why we yell, saying, “The tracker is a way to think about who you are, why you yell, when you yell, and how you can come back to being more present.” This is a great program for parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. In fact, it is a good listen for all of us. (hosted by Justine Willis Toms)


Rona Renner, R.N. is a registered nurse. Her extensive experience includes working in medical and psychiatric hospitals in the U.S. and training women in childbirth preparation in Zaire. She also helped to start a learning disabilities program in Pune, India, as well as providing parent education, ADHD and temperament counseling at Kaiser Permanente Health Services in Northern California. Rona was the founder and host of the call-in parenting radio show, Childhood Matters, and helped to start Nuestros Niños, the sister show in Spanish. She consults and teaches classes for mental health professionals, teachers, and parents throughout the San Francisco Bay Area and beyond. She and her husband raised four children and they have two grandchildren.

Rona Renner, R.N. is the author of:

To learn more about Rona Renner’s go to www.nurserona.com.

Topics Explored in This Dialogue

  • What are some of the reasons we yell
  • Is yelling ever abusive
  • How do we circumvent the tendency to yell
  • Why it is helpful to track your most susceptible time for defaulting to yelling
  • What are the ABCDEs of changing the pattern of yelling
  • How do the different temperaments of our children and partners affect us
  • How do we find the triggers that set us off to default to yelling
  • What is a “yelling tracker” and how can it be used
  • Why kids usually need more connection rather than more punishment
  • What to do when I’m not the yeller but someone else in the family is

Host: Justine Willis Toms   Interview Date: 5/12/2014   Program Number: 3508

Music Playlist

From Album: Hidden Sky
Artist: Jami Sieber
2004 Out Front Music #OFM 1010

Opening Essay: Track 01 Maenam
Music Break 1: Track 09 Hidden Sky
Music Break 2: Track 09 Hidden Sky (reprise)
Music Break 3: Track 11 Arms of the Mother