Healing And Repairing Relationship, An Ongoing Process with Susan Campbell, Ph.D.

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Dr. Campbell offers practical advice for repairing our love relationships while also healing our inner wounds. We learn methods for turning common relationship conflicts into opportunities to foster love, trust, and intimacy. She suggests making an agreement with your partner to take a “time-out” when you sense a trigger, using those moments to feel what is going on in your body and discover old wounds that have yet to heal. She describes a trigger as a button that gets pushed in our nervous system which prompts an old and familiar feeling to flood our being. That reaction is derived from false information based on old fears. Dr. Campbell further explains the importance of looking inward for the source of your distress rather than blaming your partner. By acknowledging that your reaction is coming from your own fears, you can begin to heal and repair yourself and your relationship. “This is a process that builds trust that maybe wasn’t there before…so that they can really connect and be on the same team,” she explains. Furthermore, she says, this practice is not as time-consuming as one might think. It only takes a few minutes to establish a healthier pattern of love, trust and understanding. (hosted by Justine Willis Toms)

Bio

Susan Campbell, Ph.D. trains and coaches therapists and individuals throughout the US and Europe. She works with singles, couples, and work teams to help them communicate responsibly and with respect.

She’s the author of:

• Getting Real: Ten Truth Skills You Need to Live an Authentic Life (H.J. Kramer 2001)
• Saying What's Real: 7 Keys to Authentic Communication and Relationship Success (H.J. Kramer 2005)
• Five-Minute Relationship Repair: Quickly Heal Upsets, Deepen Intimacy, and Use Differences to Strengthen Love (coauthor John Gray) (H. J. Kramer 2015)

To learn more about the work of Susan Campbell go to http://www.susancampbell.com.

Topics Explored in This Dialogue

• What are the steps involved in turning conflict into healing
• How does our nervous system alert us to our fears
• How can you break a trigger cycle
• What is the difference between a reactive feeling and a core feeling
• How can going inward help repair a relationship
• What are some self-calming tools
• Why is it important to take a time-out
• What is “staying on your side of the net”
• What is the “compassionate self-inquiry process”
• What is “earned security”
• What is a relationship “vision statement”

Host: Justine Willis Toms     Interview Date: 3/18/2015     Program Number: 3534

Music Playlist

From Album: Ancient Future A.F.A.R. (So Far)
Artist: Matthew Montfort
2014 Ancient Future #AF-2030

Music Break 1: Track 01 East of the Sun
Music Break 2: Track 03 Moonbath
Music Break 3: Track 08 Sangria